Sunday, August 29, 2004

commitment

I initially began this entry with a woe is me I'm an awful blogger type sentence....gone...heck with that. I do the best I can, when I can...period. I enjoy it, love having a blog, and despite the fact that our digital camera is not recovering as quickly as it should, I can describe my Rogue, which I love and am thrilled to be working on...explain how much fun it is to work on this scarf in koigu #2132, especially since it was a Rachel design, talk about the nifty ipod cozies made from this pattern, (went to 4" and added a flap...larger needles, wool, felted in the boiling cauldron of death.) Yes, blogs are definatley better with pics...ah well...maybe next time!

So for now, I'll ramble about the end of summer. Mariah left this morning and I've finally stopped sobbing...sap. We had such a fun, wonderful summer together. Jed leaves next Saturday and again, it was and is such a pleasure to have him home...Jake is ready to start his senior year....he knows a bit about his schedule and has, thankfully, one of the best English teachers I've known as his teacher. For this I am grateful beyond words. Jack left on Wednesday...one more summer gone. My last year as the parent of a high school student. (and I'm so young!) It's exciting and scary and...wow. I feel like we're on the verge of switching gears here. Within the next few years they will move more and more into their own lives, homes, places...it's all good. So very cool.

Now, before anyone jumps down my throat for being an uncaring mother I would like to issue a warning...if you are faint of heart or prone to judging, skip the next part...do us both a favour!

In spite of the fact that my children are leaving and I am blue and miss them, I am totally thrilled for them AND for me. I love my own life. I've done a fine job raising my kids..they are all good, kind, decent people..(aside from Mariah's republican bent at times) but in general good folks. They love each other, keep in touch without me being in the middle, send cards or call home not just when they need things. I done good. And, it's ok for them to not be here. Believe me, I was never one to count down the days till school started because I liked having them home and doing stuff. Nor was I one to say "Can't wait till I have my life back." They were my life...or better said, that part of it. Now things are changing...it feels as though it's going from them being a part of my life to my being a part of theirs...and the fact that I am and they want that....I am one blessed, lucky, happy gal. Cause, I'll tell you...sad though I was this morning, next Sunday when I get up, the sink is still empty from the night before, I only have my own and my husband's schedules to think about...I'll be just fine. Yes, I'll look forward to having a full house again around the holidays...but I will look forward with just as much enthusiasm to the empty house not long after that....and on and on and on because that's how it's supposed to be...(in my opinion..)
off my horse now...off to knit and play.
xomj

2 Comments:

Anonymous Anonymous said...

Empty nest, but never ever an empty heart. You DESERVE this time to be happy. Hugs to you....
xo,
Rachael.
http://yarnagogo.com

August 29, 2004 at 3:45 PM  
Blogger Sarah said...

You said "[...]all good, kind, decent people..(aside from Mariah's republican bent at times)," and I had to laugh. My brother is the family conservative, and I chalk it up to his having been dropped on his head as a child. Do you have any other theories? (insert big giggling grin here!)

August 31, 2004 at 12:54 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home